I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
