I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
