i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
