One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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