she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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