I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
