He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
