wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
