I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
