eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Shame - the story of my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
