what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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