so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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