No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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