dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
