Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
