Already got asked if we're dating
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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