Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
