I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
