Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
