he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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