Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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