My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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