he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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