she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
