are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
