Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
