i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
