so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
