i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
