i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
