I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is Oprah even human
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
