i don't like sucking hair
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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