Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
