I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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