Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
