i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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