He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Vodka?
Forever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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