so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
