He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
