P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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