I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
