if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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