his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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