1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
