he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im holly from the hills drunk
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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