11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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