no, he came in my armpit
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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