2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
