Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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