Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
