since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize