hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
