so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
